Ever since my ex-boyfriend slash stalker slash aspiring serial killer has reinserted himself into my lyfe, I’ve felt the need to add the following caveat whenever I make plans: “If I’m not dead.”
For example, “Yes! I’d love to go to dinner with you at Chez Pierre on Thursday, if I’m not dead.”
Or, “Oh, sorry. I can’t go to the movies with you Saturday night because I already have plans to go to a lounge, if I’m not dead.”
Always a stickler for etiquette, I would just die if one of my companions thought I had stood them up.