Gossip Girl On Blast

Hood Ornithology

• Akon: you're what they call in the hood a bird
• Me: a stool pigeon
• Me: haha. actually i think i'm more of a mocking bird
• Akon: what am I?
• Me: a canary
• Akon: fuck you
• Me: ROFL you're a lovebird obvi. everyone knows that
• Me: so in touch with your emoshuns
• Akon: you have no idea how dangerous I am
• Me: yes, your wit cuts like a knife. lucky for me, i carry a STREETSWEEPER

Chatz with Fwendz: Spelling Lessons

• Me: agree or disagree?
• Jamal: agree
• Jamal: but not that aggregious
• Jamal: eggregious
• Me: egregious*
• Jamal: i was getting therre
• Jamal: there
• Me: thurr*
• Jamal: whateva

Why is this latte making me so tired?

Oh, right.  The Witch got it for me.

Lindsay Lohan makes me loathe myself more than I loathe Lindsay Lohan

• Ned: can you believe lohan dodged jail again. i hate her!
• Ned: but i want to see her playboy pics
• Me: i do too :-/

Smurf Couture

This bitch.  So, today this 60-year old young woman is wearing:

• A tight-fitting blue tie-dye t-shirt;
• Pleated white school girl skirt;
• Blue tights; and
• Something similar to this on her feet:

Gurrrrrrrrr…..

That's what you get for tryna be cyoot

• Me: Why aren't you wearing jeans today?
• Wiccan: I went for the Halloween costume option.
• Me: O rry. So what are you supposed to be?
• Wiccan: Someone who actually gives a shit about my work.
• [Voldemort walks by wearing jeans.]
• [Dumbledore walks by wearing jeans.]
• Me: Well, I guess you're the only one.

Why?

Spotted: 60+ year young woman wearing a thigh-high denim dress with a full skirt, opaque white tights, and 5” heel white ankle boots.

A visual?  It’s a little bit like this:

plus 

Oh, you know, my whole LYFE is crashing down around me. No big deal.

Today in Misadventures in Technologically Iliterate Parent-Child Chatting

• Gossip Mother: I received a mag from [your school], do you want?
• Me: um...no
• Gossip Mother: But you luv that place.
• Me: -___________-
• Gossip Mother: I BEG YOUR PARDON!
• Me: mom, thats an azn face, not a dick HERRO
• Gossip Mother: um, hmmm.