Gossip Girl On Blast

Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of D.C.'s elite.

A Balanced Diet

So maybe I did have just a piece of Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake Cheesecake for my lunch today.  And?

I humbly present the latest hot mess masterpiece from the invariably clASSy, Lady…This is Pussy.


Tell me why a 34-year old man boy (a residual of the online dating thing) is coming at me for saying it’s a dealbreaker that he lives with his parents.

On why I let my online dating subscription lapse…for now

Today my online dating subscription is officially over, and I’ve decided not to renew.  I have nothing against that particular site.  In fact, I think a lot of good things have come out of it.  I met my last boyfriend on that site.  And he and I had some great times…until the night I had to call my doorman to forcibly remove him from the premises.  (We had broken up by that point.)

But, I digress.

Certainly there are some well-known pitfalls to online dating.  Like this.  Or this.  Unfortunately, these types of annoyances are prevalent.  Even worse, many people fabricate their entire lives on these sites from their appearance to their marital status to their jobs (as if, in the event you decide to meet up IRL, you won’t notice they aren’t even remotely who they portrayed themselves to be).  Yet these negatives aren’t enough to make me just give up on finding love.

What is enough to make me take a break for now is how the whole process made me feel about myself.  I became too emotionally involved.  At first it was a lot of fun.  But then I started feeling deeply rejected when cute guys wouldn’t pay me any attention.  Or, instead of feeling flattered, I would feel genuinely upset when guys I didn’t find attractive showed interest in me.  I was taking it all too seriously, too personally, and it stopped being fun.    

The reason I decided to try online dating was that I believed (and still do) that I would find better quality relationships than those I had with the men boys I met through more conventional means, e.g. bars and parties.  One person I met IRL dumped me at my friend’s wedding.  Another cheated on me on Valentine’s Day.  A third just stopped calling and then randomly sent me unsolicited pictures of his erect penis.  True story.  

So in the end I am back in the same place where I started.  Alone, but still hopeful that I will find love someday (either online or not).  And that’s not a bad place to be. 



The evidence is mounting that I should just lay down and give up.

  • Potential Suitor (PS): You're funny!
  • PS: It's funny 'cuz I didn't think YOU could be funny. I mean with all the long emails we wrote back and forth to each other, I was just like 'Here we go. Another cat lady." Haha.
  • Me: Well PS I'm full of surprises.
  • Me: In fact, here's another one.
  • Me: *CLICK*


Me: [Answering work phone] Hello, this is GossipGirlOnBlast!

Caller: Hello.  I’m looking for GossipGirlOnBlast.


Please don’t make me stab this witch.

Me: Do you want to sign up for that seminar Voldemort asked us to go to, or should I?

The Witch: I’ll let you think about that question for a bit before I respond.

Me: You could have just said no.

The Witch: Well, what fun would that be?