Gossip Girl On Blast

Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of D.C.'s elite.

TEAM KENYA!

My prediction for the winna!  Get ‘em gurr.

Long Live McQueen.
RIP Lee.

Long Live McQueen.

RIP Lee.

Lord hear my prayer.

Please don’t make me kill any one of these people today. 

Thank you, Jesus.

XOXO,

GossipGirlOnBlast

Online dating profile pic…First real-life meeting    

Online dating profile pic…First real-life meeting    

(Source: 4gifs, via izmcup)

I don't do weekends. Sober.

  • Dumbledore: What are you working on?
  • Me: Well, it's 6:02 on Friday night, so I was actually working on getting the fuck out of here.
  • Dumbledore: Are you going to be somewhere close by tomorrow?
  • Me: -____________-
  • Dumbledore: Gimme your cell phone. I doubt I'll have you come in, but just in case.
  • Me: Grrrreeeaaaaaaat. I'll definitely be close by. But I may be drunk.
  • Dumbledore: On a Saturday morning?
  • Me: That's just how I roll.

Don’t we have an office policy in place for this?

I’m just sitting in my office this morning, and suddenly I hear a high-pitched “Noooooooooooo.”  My first thought was that the building was going down (wishful thinking).  But then I see a child lying face-down in my doorway.

So I do what any rational person would do: I pick the child up by the armpits, walk out into the hallway, and shout, “Does this belong to anyone?”

Finding no takers, I put the child in the Lost and Found bin, and returned to reading the “news” on perezhilton.

So does this mean I can get worker's comp?

  • Dumbledore: Where were you?
  • Me: At the eye doctor.
  • Dumbledore: Really? What's wrong?
  • Me: Oh, I have this pain behind my right eye.
  • Dumbledore: I bet the "pain" is Voldemort.
  • Me: True. But they don't make eye drops for that.

Geez. If ONE MORE PERSON calls me a conceited stuck up bitch today…

GossipGirlOnBlast to self.

Related: My haters are my motivaters.

Also related: This.