January 2011
30 posts
3 tags
Ray-Ray, Girl:  This is the solution to your dilemma.  You’re welcome.
Jan 31st
2 tags
I. am. about. to. RAGE. OUT!
Jan 31st
5 notes
2 tags
Jan 31st
2 tags
Dating Quandary
In light of my last post what do you think are the chances of success of my new relationship with a man who doesn’t drink?
Jan 31st
3 tags
Today I went to the liquor store instead of going...
Priorities.
Jan 31st
2 tags
Me: check this shit out. it took my poor friend from 4:15pm til 1 IN THE FUCKING MORNING to get from rockville to his home in arlington
Lynne: ooooohhh my god. fuck that shit. i heard ppl left their cars and just walked home. ha. i mean shit
Me: that is CRAY-CRAY
Lynne: that's ridic. aaand that is why i take public transpo. it's sometimes a pain in the ass but on the regular, it works just fine
Me: um hm. here's my rebuttal. two words: red line
Jan 27th
2 tags
I’m in the same boat as Ray-Ray.  We just got the email that we can leave here at 3:00pm today, provided our supervisor gives the OK.  My supervisor is Voldemort.  ‘Nuff said. Update: And we just got called in for a meeting at 3:00pm.  Did I call it or what? 
Jan 26th
2 tags
Voldemort Attack
Whenever Voldemort comes in to have one of his “conversations,” i.e. shout/scream at me that I’ve been doing a great job and then commence an HOUR LONG monologue, the purpose of which is apparently to educate me on the topic of his choosing, I always feel like I enter a sort of waking coma.  It isn’t the volume of his voice (loud to extra-loud) that gets me at first. ...
Jan 26th
2 tags
“AFTER A BREAK IN PRECIPITATION THIS MORNING… ACCUMULATING SNOW WILL...”
– Weather.com.  Heavy snow coinciding with my rush hour commute, eh?  Well, isn’t that just the cherry on my fucking sundae.
Jan 26th
2 tags
“I’m Oprah! Talk to me, Bitch!”
– Char, the oldest bad bitch in the house.
Jan 26th
2 notes
2 tags
All work and no play makes C------- a dull girl.
C: I'm busy lol. And I'm losing my mind
Me: again?
C: DO. NOT. MAKE. ME. COME. DOWN. THERE. AND. SHOW. YOU. HOW. CRAZY. I. AM!
me: oooooohhh gurr! sassy. lol
C: three snaps and a roll of the eyes. lol
me: hair flip and SNAP!
*a full-out RuPaul-style diva-off then commenced over gchat*
Jan 25th
2 tags
Dedication.
Attention Upper East-Siders: So I have committed to running a 10-mile race this April.  (^__^’)  IKR. To prepare for it, I’ve been running three times a week and cross-training three times a week. Here is my dilemma: Today is one of my running days. Today my calves are so tight and sore from all the exercise (I basically went from couch to several miles right off the bat) that it...
Jan 25th
2 tags
Tired tired bo bired banana fana fo fired if I don’t come up with an answer to this fucking question in like an hour…me mi mo mired.  TIRED!
Jan 24th
2 notes
2 tags
Real talk. →
Jan 20th
2 tags
Jan 20th
2 tags
I'm not depressed that I don't want a boyfriend.
I’m depressed that everyone else thinks I need one.
Jan 18th
1 tag
Jan 18th
3 tags
Jan 12th
3 tags
icantwithyou: Ugh, what's ur email?
Me: Mybestfrienddoesntknowmyemail@fml.com
Jan 10th
3 tags
Jan 10th
13 notes
2 tags
Jan 10th
18,630 notes
2 tags
“They’re making chicken salad out of chicken shit!”
– Voldemort, master of hyperbole.
Jan 10th
1 tag
Jan 7th
14 notes
3 tags
Our work email is down. Darn.
Aw shucks, you guys!  We can’t access Outlook or any documents that aren’t saved locally.  What a blessing disaster! Good news is, I guess I can fit in that nap.  I definitely could use one after my luxuriously relaxing grueling two-hour lunch at the country club this afternoon.  Life is so hard…  
Jan 7th
2 tags
Encounter with The Witch
The Witch: Good luck. We're all counting on you...
Me: How did I know you'd say that? [Because he says it every fucking night.]
The Witch: Durrrrr
Me: I guess I'm psychic.
The Witch: Well I was going to say psycho...
Me: (-__-)
Me: [Fake RuPaul laugh] Get the fuck out of my office.
Jan 7th
3 tags
Veteran Tumblrs, how do I get more followers?
I want to be popular too.
Jan 6th
2 tags
I found a hair in my applesauce.
Yes, in my Mott’s no-sugar-added applesauce.  And it wasn’t mine.
Jan 6th
3 tags
Case in point →
This is exactly why I don’t have Facebook.  WAY too much dramz.
Jan 5th
2 notes
2 tags
A touchy subject.
Me: i was watching the snooki ball drop
Lynne: oh eff her
trashy hobag
Me: I LOVE SNOOKI
Lynne: omg no
we shall have no more convos on her
hahaha
Me: F U
snooki for life!
Lynne: ew
but for real, it's like politics
we just won't talk about it
HAHAHAHA
Me: ugh whatevs hateyou
Jan 5th
3 tags
Juicy
WHOA, gurr.  Don’t hurt ‘em.
Jan 5th